Do You Believe in Santa?
December 8, 2008 8 Comments
Did you grow up in a family that passed on the Santa Claus myth? I did. I have a vague memory of lying awake in my bedroom as a little kid and catching what I thought was a glimpse of Santa putting presents under the tree. I also remember seeing, at least once, a note left from Santa thanking us for the milk and cookies. (Although I remember the handwriting looked exactly like my Dad’s, for some reason it didn’t dawn on me at the time that there might be a connection…) At some point around adolescence I came to know the truth that there is indeed no Santa Claus. I don’t remember when or how this came about, but it did, just as it does for every kid.
I have wrestled with whether we should pass on the ubiquitous Santa Claus myth to our son Ben. I use the word “wrestled” in the past tense because we actually started the “Santa thing” pretty much since his first Christmas. He is 4 years old now, so he still has a few more years before the naivete of youth gives way to reality. But at times I have wondered if the Santa myth is a healthy tradition. Does it basically amount to deception since there really is no Santa? Are Christians, who are “people of the truth,” doing the right thing by playing along with the Santa story? Or is it really just harmless fun? What happens if a parent tells their kids the “truth” about Santa from an early age, and those kids tell other kids that Santa doesn’t exist, then their parents become upset?
I’ve been known to over-analyze things, but these are some of the questions I’ve wrestled with. I read an interesting lecture on believing in Santa Claus; you can find it here. (It’s really just an outline of a lecture, and I don’t endorse everything in it, but it’s interesting nonetheless.) The legend of Santa Claus is based, of course, on the life of St. Nicholas, who was born in Turkey in the 3rd century. He inherited a fortune when his father died, and he began to anonymously give money away to those in need. His most famous “miracle” is recounted in the book The Physics of Christmas by Roger Highfield:
This miracle concerned a noble and his three daughters, who had fallen on hard times. The daughters had little chance of marriage, as their father could no pay their dowries, so they faced a life of prostitution. One night St. Nicholas, hearing of the girls’ plight, threw a sack of gold through a window of the nobleman’s shabby castle. The sack contained enough gold to provide for one daughter’s marriage. The next night he tossed another sack of gold through the window for the second daughter. But on the third night the window was closed. Ever resourceful, St. Nicholas dropped the third sack of gold down the chimney. Townsfolk heard the story and began hanging stockings by the fireplace at night to collect any gold that might come their way, presumably — hence the tradition of the Christmas stocking and Santa’s affinity for fireplaces. (pg. 13)
St. Nicholas eventually became the bishop of Myra, and his feast day is Dec. 6, which probably explains why he became linked with Christmas. Down through time, the legend of St. Nicholas developed into various traditions according to local traditions. Highfield writes, “The Dutch are often credited with transforming the saint into the character we know today. Their custom of giving presents to children on the Day of St. Nicholas was brought to America by early Dutch settlers of New Amsterdam (renamed New York when the British took over the colony). There Sinterklaas, the colloquial Dutch for St. Nicholas, evolved into Santa Claus” (pg. 15).
It is interesting that despite all the various traditions around the world concerning Santa Claus, and even despite how Christmas has become more about consumerism and entertainment than about truly giving gifts, the Santa Claus myth is still about a good-natured mysterious figure who loves children and gives gifts to them. The author of the lecture cited above says that Santa Claus teaches us several helpful things about God: He knows everything about you, He rewards good behavior, He shows grace and love, and He cares for children. I’m not sure we always make the connections between Santa and God, but there’s some truth in the comparison.
In some sense, I think we have to accept that Santa Claus falls into the “cultural myth” category. Doing the “Santa routine” for a few years is engaging the child in the cultural celebration of Christmas — it’s not an attempt to decieve them for negative reasons (at least not in most cases). If we do away with Santa, then we have to look at a whole host of issues where our celebration of Christmas reflects pagan traditions rather than something that is only biblical — Christmas trees being one of them. As soon as you start to dismantle one part of American Christmas, the whole thing comes unraveled.
Or maybe I’m just saying that to ease my conscience — who knows? In my heart I don’t think the real issue with Christmas is Santa Claus, as long as we teach our kids the real meaning of Christmas. We do our best to emphasize the story of Jesus’ birth, and the real nature of Christmas, which is giving. It’s a good time to tell kids the real story about St. Nicholas and use him as a model for generosity, compassion, and ministry to those in need.
When we tell our kids and grandkids that Santa Claus exists, and that he brings presents to our houses on Christmas Eve, we are technically telling an “un-truth.” But what really worries me are the lies about Christmas that American Christians continue to swallow: consumerism, over-indulgence, overspending and credit card debt. Those are the myths we still seem to believe.
About kentsanders
Our kids grew up without Santa. You’ll have to judge whether the experience warped them or not. Our thinking was that gifts should be appreciated, and the giver thanked. Thanking the giver is not possible with Santa, and we wanted the kids to grow up knowing that it was their dad and I who were being generous–because of Christ. When the boys were Ben’s age, they could only receive 3 presents each, only one of which could be a toy; if 3 presents were good enough for Christ, then we shouldn’t be greedy. We abandoned the 3 present idea after a few years, but the general consumerism of the season bothers me.
I’ve always wondered the same thing about the whole Santa thing, and I decided a while back that I will not be participating in the tradition with my children when they arrive.
I know not everyone feels this way, but I just can’t get past the idea of it being very exactly lying to my yet-to-be-born-or-even-conceived-for-that-matter children.
Maybe this is because I do remember when I learned from my parents that Santa isn’t real.
Yup, cried.
Interesting observations. Looking back at my childhood, I don’t feel any regret that my Mom and Dad pretended there was a Santa, and I don’t recall any bad feelings when I learned that he wasn’t real. I guess every family’s take on it is a little different – seems to be a very individualized thing. I’m sure some academic somewhere has written a doctoral thesis on the whole thing.
And another reason that I didn’t want to tell our kids that there was a Santa is …
– if you tell them there is a Santa
– if you tell them there is an Easter bunny
– and you tell them there is a God
and later when they discover that
– there isn’t a Santa
– and there isn’t an Easter bunny
What will they then think about “a God”?
Yes, I suppose there is some truth to that logic, but I’m not sure it’s so cut and dried, especially when they’re in church every week learning about God throughout the year. We also read Bible stories every day, so there is constant exposure to Bible truth.
Kids pretend lots of things. One minute they are Spiderman; the next they are dolphins. Pretending is what kids do best. I don’t think our children become twisted people just because they believe in a they myth of “Santa.” We told our oldest son that Santa wasn’t real, but that never really sunk in. He learned lots of Santa lore from other places like school, friends, and grandparents etc. The thing is we didn’t make a big deal out of it either way. People have the right to choose what they tell their kids, but I say lighten up a bit. There will be bigger fish to fry later on in your child’s life. Enjoy those wonderful young years you have with your children.
By the way, I believed in Santa, I don’t think I’m too messed up, and I never held it against parents for letting me pretend that something good and fun happened at Christmastime.
Martha, thanks for the comments.
I was very proud of my kid last week when we were in the truck going to church, and out of the blue he said, “Dad, Christmas is all about Jesus being born.” I wanted to make sure he understood what he was saying, so I said, “So you don’t think Christmas is all about Santa Claus and getting presents?” He said, “No, it’s about Jesus being born.”
I thought I’d go a little further so I said, “Why do you think Jesus was born?” He said matter-of-factly, “Jesus was born so he could die on the cross for us.” From the mouths of babes…
Children pick up the important things in life, don’t they. They watch us all the time. They learn what is important by watching us; seeing what is important to mom and dad. Your son is smarter than half the world because he knows the real meaning of Christmas. It just melts my heart.