This year I have been doing a lot of reflecting on life. I’m 35 years old and by this point, nearly all of my friends from high school and college have settled in their lives. Most of us have families, careers and a life trajectory that will probably not change too drastically over the next few decades.
This is also the age where some hard realizations begin to set in. Despite having success in one form or another, everyone realizes that certain things will probably not come to pass. Some of the dreams you had ten or fifteen years ago will never become a reality.You realize you are getting older and it’s time to let go of the “what ifs” and “might have beens.” You may never have the job, notoriety, family situation, body, business or whatever else you thought would make you truly happy.
I have a question for you. What makes you truly satisfied and happy in life? What is the real source of your joy? For many Christians, the real answer is, “Christ, and _____.” We fill in the blank with all kinds of things: children (and their performance in school or sports), a career, our ideal image of the perfect husband or wife, church involvement, positions or titles or degrees, financial success, and a hundred other things. We would never admit this, and we certainly don’t mean for this to happen, but it’s there all the same.
God is helping me to see that Christ is truly enough. For many years I have trusted Christ as my Savior, but I haven’t always looked to him as my Lord and the source of my true contentment. For a long time I looked to my ministry/career as my source of real joy. As long as that was going well and people liked what I was doing, all was well. But whenever I was criticized or people didn’t respond as positively as I’d hoped, I felt discouraged and depressed. But that’s what happens when you try to find joy in temporary things.
By God’s grace, I am learning to let go of my expectation that my career, other people, material possessions, or my performance in life will bring real contentment. I work hard and do my best to make a positive contribution in my job and in other areas of life. But those roles, titles and positions of influence will eventually fade, and I don’t want my joy to fade with them. Rather, I want my joy to be based on something that doesn’t fade away.
I may or may not be a sought-after worship leader or speaker. I may or may not be the most popular professor. I may or may not be famous, have books published, or be “the man.” I have limited control over those things anyway. There are many Christian leaders today whose sense of self-worth and self-identity is very closely tied to their perceived “success” in ministry. My heart breaks for them because it is a dark place to live and I don’t want to go there again. Ministry can become its own form of idolatry if we’re not careful.
I pray that you would understand one thing: Christ is enough for you. He is enough for your strength, contentment, self-worth, satisfaction, and joy. He has called you to serve in whatever you’re doing, but don’t look to external measurement of “success” to measure your worth. Your worth as a person–and your deepest joy–comes from knowing that Christ loves you deeply as his uniquely created child…without condition.
The writer who has helped me explore these things more than anyone else is Henri Nouwen. Earlier this week I took part of an afternoon and re-read In the Name of Jesus, the single book (besides the Bible) that has influenced my thinking more than any other. I just started a newer book of his called Spiritual Direction. I would highly recommend his works to any Christian who wants to grow in their love of Jesus.
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