Life is a journey, and it never stops. In the words of the great philosopher Ferris Bueller, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” As I pause today for my 37^th birthday, here are some things I’m learning about life:

1. Make friends where you can find them. There have been times when I’ve been hesitant to invest in a friendship because I didn’t have much in common with the person. But many of those people have turned out to be great friends who have been a real encouragement.

2. Let go of unrealistic expectations. Sometimes the idealistic dreams of our youth can set us up for disappointments later on. You can find real freedom when you let go of an idea, dream, job, or relationship that will probably never happen.

3. Trust God. At some point in my journey of faith I began to set aside my need to have every question about God resolved. We can’t fully understand God and how He works, and that’s OK. It’s incredibly refreshing to let go and step out with childlike faith and see the amazing things that happen.

4. Treasure the small things in life. The best moment of yesterday was when my 7-year old son made chocolate milk and brought it to me outside. It was a real gesture of love. Don’t miss the great little moments in life.

5. Don’t reply to emails when you’re upset. In the last few months I’ve had to apologize more than once for the tone of an email I sent when I was irritated. It’s much better to wait until you can reply more calmly, or better yet, correct misunderstandings in person. (This also applies to texts, Facebook messages, etc.) I love this article from Michael Hyatt on “Email Etiquette 101.”

6. Read for personal growth. If you want to improve yourself, you must be constantly investing in yourself by reading. Here is a great clip from Bill Hybels on the importance of reading.

7. Don’t define yourself by your work. So often, we see ourselves as an extension of the success or failure we perceive in our work (or how others see it). But your value as a person is not determined by your salary, title, position, or anything external. Our value is determined by God’s love for us, which is richer and deeper than we can comprehend.

8. Try something new. I have been building a treehouse for my son this summer. I know nothing about treehouses, so I consulted a few how-to guides and dug in. I have enjoyed every minute of it, and the project has given me new confidence as I’ve discovered I could actually do it. Take a chance and develop a new skill.

9. Find (and be) a mentor. Over the last couple of years I have been intentional about seeking out mentors and making myself available as a mentor. The process has been a real blessing in my life in several ways. (More about that in a future post.)

10. Don’t “posture.” “Posturing” means hiding behind a title or position to make others think we’re better than we really are. No matter what our position, we need to be real with people and be “human.” Some of the best advice I’ve heard is, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”

I’m still learning these lessons, but am looking forward to being a little further down the path on my 38th birthday!

Question: What are some life lessons you are currently learning?

It’s easy to dismiss these kinds of inspirational books as light and superficial, and to an extent that’s a valid criticism.  This is not great literature, and some of the dialogue and situations lean toward the corny side.  That being said, it’s important to remember that the point of a book like this is not the storytelling, it’s the message behind the story.  It’s really an extended parable.  The Noticer is an enjoyable read with several good points of application to help you “notice” the people around you.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze, a book review bloggers program from Thomas Nelson. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

For several short segments on how they made the video, search for “The making of “SMS [SHINE]” on youtube.

What sorts of things tend to come up in my conversations? There are only a few major things: my family, guitars and music, my work at SLCC, what books I’m reading, and what movies I’ve seen. Others may have different lists that include their cars or houses, how much money they make, who they’re dating, their titles or position, or other things (and people) that make them feel secure and important.

These are the areas where take pride, or “boast.” It’s where we find our identity.  In the academic world, it’s not uncommon for professors to take great pride in their degrees, publications and awards. Likewise, students get much of their identity through grades.

I was struck recently by how different all of this is from the words of Jeremiah:

Thus says the LORD: “Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches,but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the LORD who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the LORD.” (Jer. 9.23-24)

I hear all kinds of conversations that center around sports, music, culture, grades, accomplishments, family, health, and a thousand other things. But I can’t recall many conversations when someone “boasted” about understanding and knowing the Lord more intimately; where it was evident this was the driving priority of his or her life.

As we come out of a week where the headlines have been dominated by the loss and gain of political power, and as we will soon enter into the time of year when we are obsessed with giving and receiving material gifts, may we take to heart Paul’s words from 1 Cor. 1.31: “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.”

Worship leader Paul Baloche has done a great job of capturing this thought in the song “I Will Boast.” Check it out on iTunes.

Each year Desiring God hosts conferences, and the promo for their 2010 National Conference looks very cool. Not only do I love the topic, but I love the way it’s creatively presented. Hats off to the folks who brainstormed and created the promo video.

He recently gave a talk to the Independent Book Publishers, and has made an mp3 of the talk available at his blog. You can find a link to the mp3 via this blog post. Anyone who reads books, uses technology (especially an e-reader or iPad), or is involved in leadership, education or ministry at any level will find something interesting here. At least I did. Check it out.

I am more aware of mortality. Not just mine, but of my parents’, friends, relatives and many others. The fact that we will all die eventually isn’t just a concept; it’s a concrete reality. It is hard to see people you love getting older, and sometimes getting sick.

I miss my childhood more. Lately I have been thinking about my childhood home a lot more, and watching home movies. I am very thankful for where and how I grew up, and I’m sad that I will never be able to return there. Sometimes when I go to bed I close my eyes and mentally walk through our old house, our yard and the woods I enjoyed as a kid.

I am less impressed with titles and positions. One of my most influential profs in college was a man we all called by his first name, and I have adopted that practice (at least with students who are comfortable with it). I feel that your influence comes from loving and helping people, and being a good teacher, not from some title or position you hold. At the same time, being a “Professor” does come in handy sometimes.

I am more convinced that attitude and character are what matter most. Students are usually concerned with getting good grades, but what matters more in ministry and life is having integrity, a good attitude and a servant’s heart. I am thankful that at our school we have some built-in ways to emphasize these qualities as well as academics.

I have fewer convictions, but the ones I do have are more firm. I still have opinions about lots of things, but getting older (and hopefully a little wiser) has helped me sort the essential from the non-essential issues. Part of being a mature person is knowing what issues you will die for, and which you can let go.

I am more family-oriented. Back in my 20′s I was a real workaholic and wanted to please everyone. These days, my greatest joy is being at home with my family. (If we can all be together at Steak-n-Shake, so much the better!)

I am more aware of my need for physical health. I pretty much ignored my health until 2-3 years ago, when my wife started to lose a dramatic amount of weight and get healthy. I’m not as disciplined as she is, but I am much more aware of how exercise and diet play a huge role in every area of life.

I am more aware of my strengths and limitations. One of the best things you can do in life is find out what you don’t like doing. At this point, I have a pretty good idea of what I don’t like doing or teaching, where I fit best, and what I’m good at. It is a real blessing to have an opportunity come before you and be able to say, “No, I don’t like doing that,” or “No, I’m not gifted in that area.”

I have a clearer sense of calling. Over the last few years my sense of calling from God has solidified. He has called me to teach/equip/encourage students, pastors and Christians in the areas of worship and the arts. It’s a good feeling to know that my current teaching/ministry position lines up pretty well with my gifts and sense of calling. I feel very blessed in this way. (For anyone struggling in this area, I highly recommend two older John Maxwell teaching messages, “When to Quit” and “When to Move in Leadership.” They are so helpful I would have paid $500 for these two hours of teaching, no kidding. I believe you can get them through Injoy.)

I receive my identity more from being a Christian, husband and Dad, and less from my job. Although I do feel called as I mentioned above, that is not my primary source of fulfillment in life. I will always be Jesus’ disciple, Ben’s Dad, and Melanie’s husband…but being a “Professor” is a temporary role God has given me to steward for a period of time. This is a radical shift from my 20′s, when I made the major mistake of finding my main identify in my role as a pastor and seminary student.

I appreciate my wife and son more. We have arguments and the normal stuff that happens in a family, but I treasure them more all the time. They are a huge gift from God in my life. I am incredibly impressed with my wife’s persistence in health and exercise, and her leadership at work. She’s also an amazing Mom. I am a better man because of her.

I appreciate my friends more. There have been people in my life who wanted to be friends, but for one reason or another I kept them at arm’s length. I guess as I get a little older I realize I should be thankful for any friends I can get! And I especially appreciate the ones who have been there for me in difficult times.

I am less judgmental. I used to look at others with a more judgmental eye–those who had been through hardships, couldn’t seem to pull it together, or in some way didn’t conform to my image of what a person, a leader or a Christian should be. But having been through a few hard knocks myself, I realize that most of us are just a few bad decisions away from utter ruin. “There but for the grace of God go I…”

I am more convinced of the truth of the Bible than ever. It’s not just because of knowing facts about the Bible, it’s  because I have seen the healing, transforming power of God in my own life. I have seen his supernatural hand at work time and again. I believe in the historical reliability of the Bible, but I also believe it from my own personal experience.

Questions: Do you resonate with any of these statements? Where are you on your journey through life?

But when I think of the many worship leaders I’ve known over the years, the vast majority of them are hard-working, godly people who strive week-to-week to lead their congregations in effective worship. They are committed to their local churches and want to serve their pastor. They are talented, creative, and intelligent. Most of them are also able to preach and teach effectively.

Those creative impulses make artistic types a little different. But those same creative impulses gave us the Mona Lisa, the music of the Beatles, and the great Hagia Sophia. They also give energy and beauty to our worship.

Every ministry has its stereotypes, and those are probably true to an extent. But in my experience, the typical worship leader is a wonderful servant of Christ who sacrifices a lot of time and energy so you and I can worship together each weekend.

4. Respond from the facts, not from emotion. It would have been easy for Steve Jobs to get irate at all the bad press about Apple over the last few weeks. (He did seem a little annoyed at the press conference, I admit.) But instead of responding emotionally, he simply communicated the facts that painted a picture of a problem that affected a small number of people. He also went to great lengths to demonstrate that every smart phones has reception problems when held a certain way. Instead of getting upset and making matters worse, he delivered facts that helped put the problem into perspective.

When people complain to us (or about us) it’s easy to get upset and respond in anger. But if we look at the facts of an issue and communicate them in a calm, caring way, that can often neutralize the situation and come to a resolution. This implies that we need to first do our research and have our facts straight!

5. Be generous. In response to the issues with the iPhone’s antenna, Apple is offering free bumper cases to iPhone users. I don’t think anyone is under the impression that Apple has altruistic motives here – this is a move to maintain customer loyalty. The bottom line is a financial concern. Nevertheless, the company could have been much less generous in its response, perhaps only offering a discount on cases, or free cases to only certain customers. However, I like Apple’s loyalty to customers, which is also expressed through its “Genius Bar” area in the Apple stores.

Leaders should personify a generous spirit in both big and small ways.  The generosity of a group, organization or church is a direct reflection of its leadership. This is one of the reasons why I love my church, Harvester Christian Church (St. Charles, MO). Our former Senior Minister, Ben Merold, and the current leadership and staff are among the most generous and giving people I know. I believe this is one of the reasons why God has blessed our church with growth over the years. God blessed people who model a spirit of generosity. (In this case, Apple’s generosity comes from a financial motive, while Christian generosity comes from a spiritual motive.)

6. Admit that you can’t please everyone. While Apple seems to be making a great effort to please their customers, they realize that they can’t make everyone happy. Steve Jobs encouraged iPhone users who still weren’t happy to bring their phones back for a full refund. (The company will also waive the restocking fee.) There is a subtle but powerful message here: “We admit the iPhone is not for everyone, and some people will simply be unhappy with what we’re doing.”

This approach has worked incredibly well for Apple. With Apple users, there is often a sense of being in an exclusive club that is populated with insiders, cool people, and those who use only the most innovative products. The “Apple culture” reinforces this idea that some shouldn’t belong there.

In the same sense (but for much different reasons), Jesus made it clear that following him is not for everyone. When you read the Gospels you get a clear sense that Jesus is trying to sift the truly committed from those who are only half-hearted. (For example, see Luke 14.25-33.) Jesus certainly didn’t try to please everyone.

This gets to the heart of one of the most difficult truths about leadership: You must accept the fact that some people won’t take the journey with you. This is hard for people like me, who can’t stand conflict and like to be at peace with everyone. But leadership is not primarily concerned with being liked; it is concerned with influencing people to do something they would not otherwise do. And that “something,” whatever it is, should be in their best interest.

Questions: Do you think Apple handled this situation correctly? What other lessons can leaders take away from this?

Yesterday, Apple confronted the issue head-on by holding a press conference. You can find a direct link to the video here on Apple’s website. The video is a little over 30 min., but if you have the time, it’s pretty interesting.

Here are a few leadership lessons we can take away from Apple’s handling of this crisis:

1. Don’t be condescending. When the antenna issue first came to light less than a month ago, Steve Jobs’ response was basically, “You’re holding the phone the wrong way.” This seemed to be an arrogant and condescending reply to people who were experiencing real reception problems with a rather expensive phone. (It doesn’t help that many iPhone customers already have problems with their AT&T service.) Apple also pointed to a faulty formula they had been using to calculate signal strength. Neither of these explanations curtailed the public perception that Apple seemed annoyed by people pointing out a problem with their hallmark device.

When people point out legitimate problems that lie within our areas of responsibility, it only makes matters worse when we get annoyed and treat them as if they’re stupid. Especially if they’re paying good money for something we’re providing.

2. Deal with the issue quickly and directly. Here is where Apple turned it around (or at least attempted to). The company held a press conference yesterday (see link above) and Steve Jobs addressed the iPhone issues directly. Apple probably could have addressed the issues a little sooner before the problems got out of hand, but as Jobs explained in the press conference, they wanted to have their facts straight first.

People appreciate a leader who is not afraid to deal head-on with problems. When we sweep problems under the rug, people get suspicious very quickly and trust in the leaders goes out the window. In crisis moments, people assume the worst when they hear nothing from the leader.

3. Admit your mistakes. I loved it when Steve Jobs simply said, “We’re not perfect.” In that moment, a huge computer company suddenly became human. He admitted there were problems with the iPhone’s antenna, although they had been greatly blown out of proportion. In this moment Apple seemed to be more concerned with helping solve the problems than with their image.

Everyone appreciates a leader who is honest about their failures. When we make a mistake, we should apologize and try to make it right. This sounds so simple, but seems to be so rare.

Check back tomorrow for a few more leadership lessons from this story!

Questions: Do you think Apple handled this situation correctly? What other lessons can leaders take away from this story?