Be Thankful for Your Critics

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One of our most basic human needs is to be loved and accepted by others. For the most part, we don’t like conflict. We also tend to avoid actions or activities that other people will question or find unacceptable.

That’s why setting and achieving higher goals is so hard. Not only do we have to operate out of our comfort zone. We are also breaking out of the comfort zone of people around us. And by definition, that makes them uncomfortable.

A few years ago, my wife Melanie was having dinner with a friend from her college days. She mentioned to this friend that I was working on a book. The friend suddenly became very negative and said, “Why in the world would he want to do that! That’s so stupid!”

Of course, this motivated me even more. But it also reminded me of an important truth: Not everyone in your life understand or appreciate your goals. To be even more blunt, there will be some people who actively oppose you when you try to achieve bigger goals.

This goes for your writing as well. Maybe you are trying to reach new heights in your writing this year. Maybe you’ve started a blog. Maybe you’re writing a business book. Maybe you’re doing a podcast. Maybe you’re writing a novel or short stories. Maybe you’re getting more active on social media and putting yourself out there more.

Anytime you share your ideas or reach for new heights, there will be people who misunderstand you. They don’t “get” what you’re trying to do. They will think you’re self-centered by sharing your ideas. They might even think you don’t have a right to be successful.

You will have critics, detractors, and naysayers. That’s a fact of life.

Here’s why: When you do the work and put your writing and content out there, it’s a silent judgment on those who aren’t doing anything with their lives. It’s a referendum on the lack of goals, their mediocrity, and their desire to stay comfortable.

And naturally, this makes people feel uncomfortable!

I take a lot of comfort in this classic quote from Teddy Roosevelt’s speech, “Citizenship in the Republic,” given in Paris in 1910:

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

So don’t be surprised when you put your writing out there, and others are critical. It’s a natural response to the fact that you’re reaching higher and want to have a bigger impact on the world. In fact, critics are a sign that you’re making a difference. So in a strange way, we should be thankful for the critics.

How do you deal with critics? Are you thankful for them?